Murder In Law Read online

  I’m the King of the Castle, and you’re the dirty rascals.

  Midge the cat inspected the barricade and inserted himself into it. He probably thought it was some game invented by grown-ups for his amusement.

  Shall I hide?

  But where?

  In a minute they’ll be round the house and standing outside the French windows looking into the big room. They’ll smash them or lever them open. Yes, that’s them now. Oh, bother! The windows have only just been re-glazed.

  Her brain went into overdrive. She’d left the frying pan downstairs and had never found the rolling pin. She was no good at this lark!

  Good Lord, protect us!

  Keep calm. Keep cool. Breathe deeply.

  Think!

  ‘Susan?’ A small boy’s voice. Shaking with fear.

  Oh, my God! Evan’s woken up and come to see what’s going on!

  ‘Go back to bed, Evan. Please!’

  He pattered along the corridor towards her.

  He was hindered by carrying Hippo. No, he was helping Fifi along, and she was towing Hippo behind her. Oh my God! Not Fifi, too!

  Evan’s eyes were wide with fright. He knew something was wrong and he’d come to her for reassurance. He said, ‘Fifi’s frightened.’

  Susan snatched Fifi up and cuddled her. She was warm and cuddly. She was not frightened. She was interested in this new experience. She was chewing on one of Hippo’s ears. When will that tooth come through?

  ‘Go back to bed, Evan!’ Susan’s voice cracked. He wasn’t going to obey her, was he?

  ‘No.’ His chin wobbled. He clutched her leg. He felt safer with her than in his bed alone upstairs. He’d got that wrong, hadn’t he? He’d be a lot safer hiding under the bed … or … could she stow him in a cupboard?

  Boudicca, completely unarmed, prepared to repel invaders.

  I’m hysterical. I’m fighting on the beaches and wherever else it was supposed to be that Britons fought the invader.

  I can’t see that my defences will hold, and they’ll take Evan and they won’t leave me alive as a witness because that’s their way … oh, let them spare Fifi! They might! Oh yes, they might! She can hardly talk! If only … where could I hide her? In the linen chest at the top of the stairs. No, she’d suffocate.

  Oh, dear Lord above!

  The three of them came banging through the big room. They’d swept away the outer defences of the house and were homing in on their prey.

  The two men came first. One was younger than the other and looked fit. That would be Cal, the gardener. Yes, the sweet scent of his cigarettes floated up the stairs ahead of him. He and his friend were all in black and wearing balaclavas.

  This second man was the bulky bully who’d tried to help the pseudo Ellie to kidnap the children that morning, and who had laid Lesley out. And, he had a knife in his right hand!

  Light flickered on the blade. This was a knife that liked to cut and thrust! Was this the knife which had helped to end Evan’s life and that of the lookout boy?

  Susan shuddered.

  She turned her attention to the woman. And yes, this was the woman who’d tried to lift Evan from the nursery that morning. Perhaps it might be possible to reason with her? Judging by her bulk and noisy breathing, she was not very fit. She wore a bulky black tracksuit and a scarf tied round her head in the fashion made famous by the queen. The scarf was of silk with a black and purple pattern on it.

  She carried a walking stick. This was not the sort of prettily decorated fold-up-and-put-in-your-handbag stick. This was the sort you took on a hike for whacking at brambles and cattle that dared to cross your path.

  The three stood in a group in the hall, assessing the barrier Susan had created on the staircase.

  ‘Well, blow me!’ The woman was the first to speak. She cracked out a laugh, not because she thought the situation amusing but because she was astonished that Susan had dared to oppose her. Her voice was sharp.

  She thrust the two men aside to stand, arms akimbo, at the foot of the stairs. ‘Give him up, dearie, and we’ll leave you in peace to put your baby to bed.’

  The blade in Knife Man’s hand flickered as his hand twitched. He was more than ready to use it, wasn’t he?

  Susan felt Evan clutch her leg even tighter. She jiggled Fifi, who seemed interested but not particularly bothered by this interruption in her night-time ritual. ‘They’re both my children,’ said Susan. ‘You’re not having either of them.’

  ‘Nonsense, Ducky,’ said the woman. ‘The boy’s ours. His mother owes us, and we’re going to keep him safe and sound till she pays her debt.’

  ‘With what?’ asked Susan. ‘Monopoly money? Diana hasn’t a penny to her name. Her house is being repossessed, likewise her car. Her husband’s assets go to his children by his earlier marriages and she’s been trying to raise a loan from people who don’t want to know. Her lover has deserted her, and his family are pressurising her to hand them over the agency and leave town. She hasn’t a hope of raising money for herself, never mind the boy.’

  ‘His grandmother—’

  ‘Has had enough of bailing Diana out. Anyway, Ellie isn’t even in this country at the moment.’

  ‘She’s bound to come up with—’

  ‘You’ve been misinformed. The only money Mrs Quicke has is her old age pension. Everything else, including her house, belongs to a trust fund and they’re a hard-headed lot on the board, who certainly won’t want to pay ransom money for Diana.’

  ‘Why, then … you and your husband seem fond of the lad. You’d lend Diana enough to—’

  ‘We’re stretched to the limit having done up this place, which also belongs to the trust, by the way. Sorry. There are no bottomless pockets around here. And the police are keeping an eye on this place throughout the night, calling in every now and then. They should be here, oh, any minute now. Why don’t you cut your losses and get out? You’ve three deaths on your conscience already. I know you personally didn’t set out to kill anyone, but your two companions have let you down big time, lashing out when they should have known better. I don’t think you were in on the original raid on Evan’s house—’

  ‘I wouldn’t have been so stupid! Those three idiots—!’

  ‘Exactly. But all the police could have charged them with was manslaughter. I don’t think they intended to kill, did they?’

  The younger man … Cal? … made as if to speak.

  She clobbered the back of his head. ‘Shut it! Haven’t you done enough damage?’

  He flinched, but didn’t strike back.

  The woman shook herself. ‘They made their bed, and they’ll have to lie on it! But I’m out of pocket and no one, but no one, does me down and gets away with it. We saw the police drive past a quarter of an hour ago, and they’ll not be back for a while. Your husband’s off with some woman or other, isn’t he? He won’t be back before morning, if I’m any judge of the matter. So it’s just you and me, ducky, and I’m not going home empty-handed. If there’s no ransom available, then there’s always a market for a nice-looking young boy in the Middle East, right?’

  What a terrible fate! No! Dear Lord, save Evan! Give me some chain mail … a sword … some arrows, preferably poisoned. Help!

  Her throat tightened. ‘No way!’

  The woman smiled. ‘Fond of him, are you? All right, we’ll take the girl instead. Pretty little thing, I’m told. She’ll fetch a good price.’

  It’s true that I don’t care for Jenny as I do for Evan. I could give Jenny up without a qualm … or could I?

  No, I couldn’t live with myself afterwards if I had to choose between them. Besides, this woman takes no prisoners. She wouldn’t make the mistakes the other two have. She would ensure someone was thoroughly dead before she left the scene.

  That knife! It keeps moving in the man’s hand, looking for somebody to hurt.

  She managed to say, ‘No,’ before her throat closed up on her.

  The woman gestured to Cal and his s
idekick. ‘What are you waiting for? Pull that stuff down and take the boy.’

  They grinned, enjoying their superiority under fire and Susan’s helplessness. This was, they were sure, going to be a doddle!

  Cal gestured to Knife Man to take one side of the barricade while he took the other.

  Fifi shifted in Susan’s arms to look down and across the hall to the front door. Was that a shadow pressed against the glass panel?

  Someone rang the doorbell. Long and hard.

  It couldn’t be Rafael. He would use his key.

  Midge the cat streaked out from under the barricade brushing past Cal as he made for the safety of the kitchen.

  Cal, caught off balance, teetered.

  He put his foot down on the frying-pan which Susan had abandoned and skidded across the floor …

  … into Knife Man, knocking him off-balance …

  The two of them fell in a confusion of arms and legs.

  ‘What the …!’

  The knife clattered to the floor and slid into the shadows.

  The doorbell continued to ring.

  Susan screamed, ‘HELP!’

  Fifi, sensitive to Susan’s distress, joined in.

  Evan took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and screeched.

  The woman shouted at the men. ‘You stupid …!’

  Knife Man managed to get up, grunting, looking round for his weapon, reaching for it, only to tangle with the scooter and fall flat on his face.

  Someone standing at the front door yelled, ‘Are you all right?’

  Susan screamed, ‘HELP!’ again. And, ‘Go round the back!’

  Cal, on his knees, attempted to pull himself upright by leaning on the buggy, only to find it was linked to the highchair, which toppled on to him.

  He swore, losing his temper, kicking at the buggy … which folded up on his leg, trapping it as if in a vice. He tried to free himself, flailing around, dragging the buggy with him …

  Till he collided with his mate, who was shaking his head, trying to get back on his own feet …

  A commotion in the big room at the back, and a large, hunched-over figure burst into the hall …

  The woman swung round, striking out with her stick at the newcomer … who picked her up and flung her against the wall. She slid down the wall. Slowly. Her eyes crossed, and the stick fell to the floor.

  Cal screamed, ‘Let’s get out of here!’ Despite the buggy enclosing his leg, he dragged himself to the front door, hauled himself upright to reach the latch. He pulled the door open to confront a wild figure in a black jacket over pink and white pyjamas. It was wearing bunny-rabbit slippers.

  ‘What!’ He tried to swipe the figure out of his way. It used its fist to connect with his undercarriage, toppling him back over the pushchair.

  Snap! His leg?

  Coralie? Her father and mother might have sent her up to bed, but she’d refused to be left out of the fun. She flexed her arm. ‘Ouch!’

  Knife Man wavered to his feet, clutching at one wrist. He focused on the front door and took one limping step towards freedom, only to fall over the much-abused pushchair. Clonk!

  Cal screamed.

  Knife Man lay still, chest heaving. Sobbing. Unable to move.

  The woman whimpered. As did Cal.

  Susan stopped screaming, and so did the children.

  A lot of heavy breathing went on, mixed with moans from the wounded soldiers.

  Sam, the taxi driver, who’d donned his enormous leather jacket for the foray, kicked the heavy walking stick out of the woman’s reach and stood over her, watching her recovery.

  The woman closed her eyes and made no attempt to rise. Had he knocked her out, or was she faking it?

  Sam straightened up. ‘Well, missus. Coralie thought you might be in a spot of trouble. She insisted on coming round with me and told me how to get in the back way. Good thing I did, eh? Though, I must say, they’re not up to much, this lot, are they?’

  Fifi peered down the stairs, interested to see what was happening.

  Evan looked up at Susan. And, very tentatively, grinned.

  A large shape loomed in the front doorway. ‘Is there a problem?’

  The police had arrived. At last.

  Susan said, ‘How many pairs of handcuffs do you have on you, Officer?’

  Won’t Rafael be annoyed to have missed all this!

  A detective inspector arrived to take charge. This was most necessary as everyone present was trying to talk – or rather, shout – over everyone else.

  Except Jenny upstairs – who slept through everything – and Fifi, who fell asleep in her mother’s arms as soon as Susan was helped down the stairs in order to collapse on to the settee in the big room. Oh, and Evan, who crawled on to her lap and went out like a light, too.

  While Sam and Coralie were trying to explain what had happened, Rafael returned, astonished to find his house invaded by the constabulary, two paramedics, Sam, Coralie, and three strangers who were all rather the worse for wear and at least one of whom required hospital attention.

  The final count of injuries was: one slight concussion, one sprained wrist and one broken femur. All on the side of the intruders.

  The damage to property included a dent in Susan’s large frying pan, a pushchair which looked as if an elephant had sat on it, and no less than three damaged glass doors, which would all need to be attended to before the children could be let loose in the house again.

  The newly arrived detective inspector pounced on Rafael to explain who he was, and why he’d been absent when the invasion of the body snatchers had taken place.

  Rafael said he’d no idea he’d left his phone behind. He said he’d been delayed when delivering Lesley back to her place as her husband hadn’t quite understood that his wife needed care and attention. But what was that compared to the mess he found on his return home?

  ‘Why,’ Rafael demanded, ‘has my family been put at risk? Why didn’t you take our problems seriously? My wife was left to confront a bunch of incompetent murderers without any support from the police! Look at her! Exhausted, in shock, having defended the children with her life!’

  Susan lowered her eyes, and heaved a great sigh of content. Her part in the proceedings was over now that her hunter-gatherer husband had returned home to defend his family from all comers.

  While the DI was still trying to sort out what had happened, a large ginger cat stalked through the assembled company, making the point that as he had been responsible for the defeat of the baddies, he needed to be fed now!

  Chaos ruled OK!

  It turned out that Susan had got one thing wrong. The woman with the walking stick – whose name turned out to be Mrs Chapel – was not a drug dealer. She’d been Diana’s office manager for many years. Six weeks ago Diana had sacked her to save money. Her son was a mechanic who worked at the garage where Evan had his and Diana’s cars serviced. When Evan stopped driving, Bob Chapel – the Knife Man – had offered to find a buyer for the car which was no longer needed and, true to form, Diana had failed to give him the commission he’d been promised.

  A chance meeting in the pub found Bob Chapel and Cal bemoaning their lot and vowing vengeance on Diana, which had led to them teaming up with Lookout Boy for the aborted raid on her house.

  When that burglary had gone wrong, Bob Chapel’s panicky reaction had triggered his mother cross-examining him as to what he’d been up to. He’d confessed his part in the event and she’d been grimly pleased to hear that they’d tried to get back at Diana for short-changing them.

  Lookout Boy had indeed panicked on hearing that the police were looking for him as having been involved in Evan’s death, and had threatened to spill the beans, which was when Cal and Bob had dealt with him.

  It was Mrs Chapel who thought up the idea of kidnapping one of Diana’s children for a ransom. Cal had heard all about the nursery and the family situation from Useless Lucia. The plan had been for ‘Mrs Quicke’ to pick up Little Evan. Bob had taken h
is mother to the nursery in his car and double parked in the road outside, ready to back his mother up if necessary. When Lesley had intervened, it was he who had knocked her for six. Their getaway car had been stowed at the back of the garage in which Bob worked, thus avoiding the attentions of the police, only to be brought out again in the attempt to snatch one of the children.

  Given all that information, it was not difficult to find proof of their misdeeds. Bob’s knife had traces of blood from Evan and Lookout Boy, and Lesley identified him as her assailant. It turned out he’d been in trouble twice before so was sure to be banged up for a long time.

  Ditto Cal, whose DNA matched the second sample found at the scene of Evan’s murder. The gardener’s link with Useless Lucia was established by a quick look at his calls to and from her on his phone, whereupon he threw the blame for everything on Bob who, he said, had been the one to suggest they pay a visit to Diana’s house in order to pick up something – anything – to compensate them for their trouble, and subsequently to silence Lucia.

  It turned out that Cal’s leg had been broken in three places. Two operations failed to restore mobility. He also got a nice long sentence in jail.

  Mrs Chapel was in some ways more fortunate, in that although it could be proved she had taken part in the attempted kidnapping at the nursery, and had accompanied Bob and Cal in their foray to Susan’s house, no one but Susan could swear to her intention to sell one of the children abroad. Bob and Cal were so much in awe of her that they refused to confirm her threat, and so her brief got her a shorter sentence than she might otherwise have merited.

  However, there are some crimes which disgust even long-term prisoners, and somehow or other the truth got out. Mrs Chapel did not have an easy time in prison and did not live long after her release.

  Afterwards

  Useless Lucia was released from hospital, earned some money by giving an interview to the tabloids titled ‘My Lover, the Killer’ and flew back home on the proceeds, swearing to return for the trial and probably not meaning to.

  Lesley recovered after a fashion, spending most of her recuperation at Susan and Rafael’s house in the daytime, helping Susan with the three children, or just lying around, gazing into space. When it was clear that she dreaded returning home to her uncaring husband at night, Rafael offered his aunt-in-law use of the flat he had lived in before he was married, and into which he’d fitted himself, Susan and Fifi while the big house was being renovated.